Signs of Cheating - How To Recognize The Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

Published: 06th July 2009
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by Dean Cortez

Author of How To Catch Cheating

It is incredibly painful to imagine that your lover might be carrying on an affair behind your back. Some would say that this is the ultimate betrayal. Cheating can instantly destroy the trust between two people that has taken many years to develop. And so, people who find out that their partners have been cheating will often experience a conflicting storm of emotions -- rage, depression, grief, shame, and sometimes even relief when they realize that their suspicions have been confirmed, and they've been right all along.

Before you end a relationship because of your suspicions, or lose any more sleep worrying about what MIGHT be going on, you need to make sure that your actions will be 100% warranted. You need to find out, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that your partner has in fact betrayed you -- whether they are involved in a serious, long-term affair, or it was a brief sexual fling.

However, damnning physic al evidence is often difficult to obtain. It's not easy to collect solid proof. And if you confront your partner and make accusations without any evidence, it's very doubtful that they will admit their infidelity. (Men, in particular, will almost always flat-out deny a woman's accusations.)

There are, however, signs of cheating you can look out for, which will make your case stronger when you do decide to confront your partner.

The following are several signs of cheating that you should be aware of, and pay close attention to. Read them, consider each one, and think about whether they apply to your partner or your relationship:

1. Your partner's sex drive and sexual behaviour have changed.

Sex is a very important component of a happy, healthy relationship between two adults. When one of the two people begins to cheat, one of the most obvious signs of cheating is that their sexual behavior changes. Quite simply, their feelings about having sex with their partner are going to be noticeably different. This is true of cheating men, and cheating women, alike.

With this sign of cheating, don't assume that a LESSER sex drive is the sign of a cheating man or woman (which would indicate that they've been having lots of sex elsewhere). In fact, the signs of cheating may include a HIGHER sex drive when the cheater is with their partner!

The cheater may be feeling guilty about their actions, and will try to compensate by paying more attention to their partner in bed. After a while, though, the cheater will usually lose their sex drive with their partner and make excuses about being too tired, or not in the mood, for sex with them.

Cheaters don't only behave this way because they're tired from all the sex they've been having in secret. They may fear that if they have sex with their partner, the partner will somehow detect that they've been cheating...from their behavior before, during and after the sex.

2. Strange changes in habits and schedule.

People who cheat almost always change their behavior and habits in certain ways. Sometimes these changes are blatant; other times, they are very subtle. But changes in the cheater's daily schedule and habits can be a powerful sign of cheating -- because no matter how hard the cheater tries to conceal their infidelities, they will NEED to make changes in order to make time for their "other lover."

These signs of cheating may include a difference in the times they come to, and leave, the house. Also, if their phone and internet/computer usage has increased noticeably, these may also be signs of cheating. (Also, is your partner receiving mysterious phone calls that they don't want to answer in your presence -- or do they leave the room to answer the phone? This is common sign of cheating.)

These are not necessarily indications of betrayal, and should not be considered "solid evidence," but if you see these signs you may want to monitor your partner more closely.

3. Changes in your partner's behavior that "just don't feel right"

There are many signs of cheating that only YOU will notice, because you are so intimately familiar with your partner's personality and the normal dynamics of your relationship. For example, let's say in the past, your partner had a confrontational personality and frequently started arguments with you over minor issues. Or, there was something you had a habit of doing, that made your partner irritated or upset.

But now, your partner doesn't pick fights, or doesn't seem to notice the behaviors that once upset them. This can be a sign of cheating, because cheaters will often avoid confrontations with their partner. This may be due to their guilty feelings, or they might just want to avoid any confrontation with you because it may lead to their cheating being discovered.

Another sign of cheating: your partner seems MORE attentive to you than usual. Again, because of their feelings of guilt, a cheater will often try to over-compensate: asking you how your day went, how you're feeling, and expressing an unusual amount of concern and care. If this is abnormal behavior for them, then it could be a sign of cheating.

Again, don't assume that a cheater is going to act aloof and inattentive to you. Their feelings of guilt, and desire to avoid being caught, might cause them to behave in an opposite manner -- trying to please you more in bed, expressing lots of phony care and concern, and even buying you gifts.

So, be aware of these signs of cheating, and don't assume you know all of the indicators. Also, you shouldn't go on your "gut instinct" alone if you're going to confront your partner. Mere suspicions won't be enough to make them come clean with you.

If you are concerned about cheating causing a problem in your own relationship, or you want to "cheat proof" your relationship so that cheating is NEVER an option for either one of you, click here and download this powerful book and audio program:

How To Catch Cheating

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